Tim Moore is a British travel writer, and two of his previous books involved long-distance stunt bicycle rides. One of them was a more or less straightforward ride along a route taken by the Tour de France. Fair enough, who has taken a bike tour and not wondered what it would be like to attempt the Tour, or even its route? That appears to have whetted an appetite. In a subsequent book, he follows the route of the 1914 Giro d’Italia, on a period wooden bicycle, in period costume.
For the current book, his idea is to be the first person to ride the full length of the Iron Curtain Trail (EuroVelo 13), a long-distance bicycle route tracing the border of the Soviet Bloc from Kirkenes, Norway to Tsarevo, Bulgaria. The Trail was newly complete at the time he started his ride, but of course that meant it was more notionally complete in some places than actually complete. Not content with attempting a ride of more than 10,000 kilometers, he decides the best way to live history is to make the ride on a (modestly modified) East German MIFA bike, with 20-inch wheels and two gears, a bike better suited to zipping down to the store and back. Not content to attempt the long ride on a bike with wheels smaller than a typical 12-year-old’s bicycle, he decides to take the route from north to south, and to start in March.
It’s a bad idea. He knows it’s a bad idea. Everyone tells him it’s a bad idea. He agrees it’s a bad idea. Yes, he says, this is a really bad idea. He does it anyway. He adds to the foolishness by not training for the ride, and by making the last modification — adding a cross-bar so that the bike frame is less likely to collapse in on itself — three days before departure.
I … mate, no. Don’t do this. You’ve got a wife and kids. There’s no reason to start in the north, in March. It’s not even like mountain climbing where you could say that the risk is inherent in the undertaking; it’s going out unprepared, unplanned, underequipped into an environment that’s hostile even if the roads are paved. “See me doing this totally daft thing that could get me killed for no reason at all” is not a good look.


