A Dumb Birds Field Guide To The Worst Birds Ever by Matt Kracht

Lol, that really is the entire title, which should prepare you for the irreverent humor within the pages of this bird guide, written from the point of view of someone who (hilariously) loathes birds.

Matt Kracht has been writing about birds for quite a while: while he might really hate them, he certainly knows his enemy! In this third installment of the series, he takes a look at what he deems the Worst Birds Ever. Unsurprisingly, there are a lot of highly qualified candidates for his list here!

In the tradition of all the Dumb Birds books so far, he describes why he made each of these fifty selections while giving it a fairly comprehensive field guide breakdown. Thus you get each bird’s mean nickname, scientific name, common name, then a long description of why it’s terrible. You also get a short physical description and an accompanying illustration that’s really quite well done for amateur work! Each entry is rounded out with a note as to the regions where the bird may be found, before an idiosyncratic rating according to the Bird Universal Mathematical Modeling and Ranking (BUMMR) system. The BUMMR system doesn’t make sense and doesn’t have to, tho Mr Kracht’s explanation of it and where one can send critiques is just another humorous part of this book.

Comedy-wise, my personal favorite bit was the opening, which involves an argument with his doctor over the calming effect of birdwatching. As funny as it can be to read the author’s (not entirely unjustified) rants, his humor really shines when he has a human foil to work off of.

That said, this guide is a surprisingly fresh way to learn about birds in a manner that doesn’t feel at all like a textbook. I probably know a little more about birds than the average person does (if my Learned League scores are anything to go by, lol) and even I felt like I was learning some interesting new stuff here. Mr Kracht’s approach to birding also makes what can feel like an impenetrable hobby seem accessible to anyone, especially when he complains about how physically annoying the pastime can be. His well-placed jabs at ornithology are also hilarious. The page on identifying Brown Thrashers highlights one particularly aggravating aspect of birding: those six birds literally all look the same, especially in the wild and on the wing!

If you’re looking for a different but entertaining perspective on this ubiquitous but surprisingly challenging hobby, then you definitely need to check out this entire series. This latest installment is a standout in how it specifically highlights the literal worst birds — from the merely annoying to the outright murderous — but all the books are equally fun and informative, and an excellent addition to the library of any bird enthusiast. Well, for any bird enthusiast who doesn’t mind some curse words and grumbling with their hobby anyway.

A Dumb Birds Field Guide To The Worst Birds Ever by Matt Kracht was published March 11 2025 by Chronicle Books and is available from all good booksellers, including